dear birthmother...

So... some days I don't really think about adoption. Actually, that's not true. I pretty much think about adoption, or things related to adoption all the time. I think about our baby and our birthmother and how she may be out there struggling with her decision right now. I think about what things we'll need new and what things we can get second hand. Some days I think about adoption and some days I obsess! Today is an obsession day.

I think that my mind is focused on this today because our homestudy is only a week away. It's going to be our second rung in the adoption ladder (the first being our application). It's exciting and kind of nerve-racking. The fact that L is helping us puts me at great ease, but it's still someone coming to sift through your life to see if you are qualified for parenthood. I'm hoping we are!

Part of obsessing means I've been trolling the internet all day reading about various aspects of adoption. It's going to be a special thing to be a mom to an adopted child, so I'm trying my best to look at what is out there. I'm also reading a book called dear birthmother. The book is really good at helping me see another point of view in the process even if it does make its point and then repeat it several times (and several more times. I find myself skimming through the ends of chapters :-). The focus of the book is on open adoption. An option we're considering now with more interest. The idea being that children are effected profoundly by the loss they experience through adoption and that keeping the birthmother as part of the family relationship helps to ease that trauma for the child and for her without damaging the family bond. I don't think that we'll know exactly what is healthy for our family until we are all united and together, but I do think that we'll pursue this idea of keeping in touch with the birthmother and hopefully not just with letters and photos, but phone calls and even visits.

Tomorrow I'm hoping to be obsessing about Harry Potter and that should get me through until our homestudy, at which point I'm bound to start obsessing again!

:-)