Weekly Update

Hello!

I cannot believe it, but it has happened. Sweet baby L turned 11 months old on Sunday. I'm just shocked. It's so hard to believe. I was telling some friends at a birthday party on Saturday that I think about where we were last year at this time. I think about what we were doing and feeling and thinking and then about how our lives have completely changed and it's amazing. This time last year we hadn't even yet met with the reproductive endocrinologist for the final time, although we did know that we'd basically run out of options. We'd filed our paperwork and started the process to adopt already. Our profile scrapbook had been created. It's sort of a bittersweet time when I look back on it. I don't think that I knew exactly how to express the sadness I felt at the loss we had experienced. That part doesn't really end. I talk to people often who think that adoption ends the hurt and loss of infertility. It doesn't! I think that's important for friends and family of infertiles to understand but MORE important for infertiles themselves to understand. Adoption simply makes you a parent. It doesn't take away your fertility loss. The year has eased my pain though. I no longer feel my stomach turn in knots when friends announce their pregnancies (and seriously something is in the water around here, nearly everyone I know is either pregnant or has a newborn). It's amazing what a year can do. Sweet baby L has brought so much joy to our lives. I can't imagine having any other child, any other way.

On the other hand, I think about L's other mama, mama N. I think about what SHE must have been feeling this time last year. I wonder where she was and what she was doing. I wonder how big she got and how pregnancy agreed with her. I'm certain that she was in very deep pain. She knew the loss that was to come. I wonder where she is now and what she's doing. I wonder if her pain has deepened or has it healed a small bit. We share this amazing little person. I feel a bit guilty when I think about the situation that we are in. The same event that brought Brad and I joy beyond comprehension also brought the same amount of pain for her. We left the hospital overjoyed (but scared silly) and she left a part of her there. I feel so much love for her. I feel so much responsibility for the situation to do whatever I can for her. I pray all the time that she's okay. I look at L and I know that mama N is there. I wish that she was here too.

Okay... that was heavy. I'm telling you all these pregnant women in my life get me to thinking... It also gets me to thinking about when we are going to add to our family again. I see these newborns around and I'm working on L's baby book and I'm telling you. It pulls my heartstrings. I'm starting to wish we had another little one around here. Don't worry though... Brad is definitely NOT wishing for another little one quite yet. Someone asked him when (at the same birthday party) and he said, "later." :-)

Onto sweet baby L's week.

Mostly, we just hung out and played.

L found something exciting in her toy basket.



AND... (drumroll, please) after a few weeks of practice sweet baby L is now...

WALKING!





Of course, sweet baby L is getting more adorable all the time!





Can I just say... I LOVE those jeans. We were in Old Navy over the weekend. Daddy needed new shorts and mama needed new shirts, and sweet baby L didn't need anything, but she got some rad new jeans. They're just like miniature big people jeans. They are very very cute.

Today we tried for the bunny photo. I don't know if there is anything I can really use. Tomorrow I'll try to get her on the sofa, but it's starting to be more dangerous than it's really worth. Here's what I got.









(okay, no bunny in that one, but look at those cute jeans)



While I was trying to get baby L interested in the bunny, she was getting interested in the drapes. It started a very adorable game of peek-a-boo.





She is at least touching the bunny in this one.



See you next week!